I am going to go out and say it… I don’t get the God of War series. I have no idea why people love that game enough to continue to rave about it. Now I know that everyone is going to come here and say “Oh man, it is so epic” or I will get told “I just love the mythology behind it”. I will no doubt get told that it you love how gruesome it is or perhaps you just like the naughty bits thrown in.
I just don’t get it. To me it is a glorified button masher. There is no real strategy to how you attack the enemies, however monstrous they are. The boss battles are okay. Taking on the Hydra was really cool but the others were nothing mind blowing. The puzzles are generally pretty lame: move this box here, jump on box, jump across to another box… you get the point right?
Before I get onto another point, answer this for me. Kratos is this incredibly strong demigod, he tears creatures apart with a swing of his weapons, but he is constantly thwarted by a blocked wooden door. Some god he is, he can’t even open a door without finding a cannon to blow it open. And to get the cannon in place you need to complete some mindless puzzle. Why can’t he just knock the door down? Another thing, and this can be applied to other games, do we really need a QTE when he lifts a door? Kratos the Mighty opens the door, better push Triangle as quickly as you can otherwise he will drop it on his toes. Monsters can attack him, cut him, set him on fire, but do not let that door fall on his toes.
Anyway, what about the story makes it ‘epic’? Is it because you fight other deities, meaning that we just throw the word epic in? I suppose by definition any game can be epic so long as it is really long or ambitious. Does epic even mean that the game is any good? So many questions about a game which is clearly very popular, so popular that it has resulted in three console releases and two portable releases, two HD collections with another on the way, and of course a fourth console release pending. So I am definitely missing out something here, but no matter how hard I try I can’t help but get bored when playing the game. Kratos as a character does nothing for me. I find him a testosterone-fuelled bully who has hit the gym far too often, and the story holds very little interest.
Perhaps I just don’t get it, perhaps one of you wonderful readers will explain it to me and I will finally see the light. Perhaps you will make me see that every boss battle with its QTE ending is actually different to the other hundred or so battles. Maybe, just maybe, a fanboi will convince me of the game’s epic stature and I will become a fan of the series. God of War? Or God of Bore?